Being a new manager can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes even a frightening experience, especially if the person hasn’t been adequately trained in management and leadership principles. One of the most common mistakes a new manager can make is the practice of being too much of a “teller,” “commander,” and “controller,” and not enough of a “listener,” “learner,” and “asker.”
On the surface, it may sound reasonable to expect a manager to demonstrate control by telling people what to do. And if the people don’t comply well enough, or fast enough, it’s equally reasonable to expect that a manager would show who is in charge by exercising some form of sanction or discipline. In days long past, this philosophy was quite common, and to some extent, it worked.
Today, however, workers simply won’t tolerate what they believe to be unfair management practices, especially when the unfairness comes in the form of a manager who is overly bossy, unreasonably unfair, or inappropriately controlling. Workers today have grown up in a different world, one that expects managers to be efficient and leaders to be effective.
When a manager would like to influence the behavior of a worker (either reinforcing a desirable behavior or discouraging a negative one), the best method that leaders can use is coaching. Effective coaching has the power to either reinforce or correct behavior without the manager being perceived as bossy, unfair, or controlling. Coaching works, and there is the research to prove it. There is so much research on the power of coaching that it is amazing more managers haven’t learned how to coach. Those that do know how to coach don’t often practice the time-tested techniques, missing out on the many benefits of coaching for no real reason.
Coaching models range from simple to complex. The simple models work in most situations with most people, and complex models work in almost all situations with almost everyone. Although there are many coaching models that have been developed, most of them focus on a couple of basic principles. The most basic model involves a simple process called “The Three Whats.” This simple process is so easy to learn that virtually any manager can memorize what each what means and how to apply it in a coaching situation.
“What” One
The first “What”of coaching is to find out more about the situation by asking questions and making statements like the ones seen below:
- “What happened?”
- “What is going on?”
- “Describe for me what happened.”
- “Tell me what you see.”
The purpose of the first “What” is to define the situation, clarify the details, and discuss the facts of what happened from the employee’s point of view. A controlling manager might begin a coaching conversation by saying, “This is what you did and I’m upset!” By contrast, effective coaches would begin the conversation with a neutral demeanor and an open-ended “What” question. The difference between the two approaches is quite striking. Beginning a coaching session with an accusatory statement and a demeanor that immediately challenges the employee will typically cause the employee to become defensive. Once the employee is defensive it is difficult to move the coaching session forward, if it moves at all. This explains why so many new managers (and sometimes experienced, too) have problems changing employee behavior.
Learn about the other two Whats in The Three Whats of Coaching, Part 2
Tags: Coaching for Positive Purposes, Corrective Coaching, Effective Coach, Effective Coaches, Effective Coaching
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