This past week I took my family on an extended weekend trip to the lake to get our last summer fun in before school gets underway for the kids and the weather begins to turn cold.  As I was leaving my neighborhood in my truck (Bed full of cargo, and boat and trailer in tow), the individual driving a vehicle in front of me decided to make a turn into a supermarket parking lot.  This immediately created a problem for me.  Not only was the driver not in the turning lane/shoulder of the road, he didn’t put on his turn signal until the very last moment.  This chain of events could have caused an accident if I hadn’t  proactively hit my breaks and creep into the other lane in an attempt slow my truck and boat in order to avoid crashing into his car.

I was irritated by the situation and offered up some feedback to the driver.  In my attempt to slow tons of my steel truck and fiber glass boat, I gave a couple of honks on the horn followed by a quick flick of my heads lights (meaning get out of the way and quick or I will crash into you).  What really bothered me was the reaction this guy demonstrated to my warning.  He pulled to an immediate stop, and offered some crude hand gestures through his window and proceeded to drive slowly.  It was clear he wanted to turn this issue into heated verbal or physical argument by his behavior.  I told to my wife “that guy is a jackass.”  Not from his driving abilities, but from the way he responded to my feedback.  My feedback was not intended to show rage.   I did not lay on my horn and start yelling.  I gave a couple of honks and a flicker of my headlights telling this guy that his current behavior was going to cause an accident.  That’s why cars have horns.

His reaction caused me to evaluate my perceptions of both giving and receiving feedback.  I thought about how I would have reacted if I had been honked at.  My conclusion is that we all need to be more open to feedback and coaching and not take personal offense to it.  In order to grow, and develop we learn from others.  If we are to enhance our abilities and expertise, we need to receive feedback, either supportive or corrective.

Supportive Feedback
This is all about reinforcing the positive.  When you see someone doing something great and want the behavior to continue, or simply recognizing someone for their work.  It is geared to continually improving performance.

Corrective Feedback
This is about changing behavior, performance, and results.  It occurs when an improvement or change in needed.  It is important to understand that corrective feedback is not negative or abusive in its style, it is only intended to correct the behavior at hand.
While it is important for us who both give and receive feedback to understand these two types, we can hit higher levels of performance if we are a little more open, a little less sensitive (on the receiving end), and ensure our point of view is clearly communicated.  Let’s recommit ourselves to the concept of feedback.

How often do we assume the instructions that we give others are perfectly clear when in reality they baffle our listeners or are misinterpreted? Then, when we criticize their performance they look at us with blank gazes or defensively reply, “You didn’t tell me that.”

Leaders and team members will often assume that the other person will always have the same definition or understanding of a word used, so we need to check for clarification. Several years ago, I was a manager of the pharmacy/cosmetics department in a department store. And as with all organizations, we had certain words that had specific meanings only our organization, or trade. One of our most used industry verb was “face”. While this very common word, people do not think of it in the terms we used it.

Annie was still in high school when she became one of my department clerks. She was fairly young, very enthusiastic, and somewhat naïve, but very sincere is doing a good job. Company procedure was two days in orientation and then some training on the floor with a more experienced clerk. On her third day on the job, I assigned Jeri to work with her. Jeri was one of my most experienced clerks. About an hour later, I went to see how she was doing and found her standing staring at the hair care section. I asked if she had a problem. “Oh no,” she said. “Jeri told me to face the shampoo section. I asked her why and she said that’s part of the job.” Jeri assumed that Annie had been instructed about “facing aisles” in the orientation class. Jeri also assumed Annie was being a bit cheeky like some teenagers were. While it seemed very strange to her, Annie did what she thought she was told to do. Of course, in retail, “facing” means pulling product from the back of a shelf and making certain the front of the package faces the customer. Luckily, Annie had a good sense of humor and was able to accept the teasing the other clerks gave her for the next few months for being so naive.

Think about your own industry. What phrases and buzz words do you or your organization use to convey job specific meaning? Do all your team members understand the context in which these words might be used? Do your employees mentally see ditches or barrow pits?

Try this at your next team or department meeting: Throughout the discussion, ask members of your team if they understand all the terminology being used to describe a process, project, or concept. You might be surprised at how many people don’t know the meaning or have a different personal perception of what is going on.