Each of us has a bucket located in our heart and whenever we receive any type of feedback it goes in our bucket.  I’ve taught the metaphor of the feedback bucket to thousands of people around the country.  Perhaps because it’s so simple, or because of the catchy name, but for whatever reason, it helps people grasp the importance of the feedback with give and receive in our interactions with others.  Picture your feedback bucket and imagine all types of feedback you receive each day going into your bucket. The problem is that we have holes in our buckets, which cause the feedback to leak out over time.  If there are a lot of holes, or if some are large, the feedback leaks out quickly.  If a person’s bucket doesn’t have many holes, or if they are just pinpricks, the feedback leaks out slowly.  Remember, we all have a bucket and every bucket has some holes in it.

Who put the holes in your bucket?  The answer is complex, but stated simply they came from both internal and external sources.  You probably drilled a few yourself through careless actions and others came from parents, family, friends, associates, and your present and former bosses. Because our lives constantly change, the holes in our feedback buckets are in a state of flux. Holes come, and holes go, but some are always there.

How does an employee behave when his or her feedback bucket is empty?  How would that same employee behave if his or her bucket had a few deposits of feedback?  The response I get to these questions from retail managers is surprisingly consistent.  And I’ll bet you probably know some of the answers. But before we get to that, first keep in mind that people suffer great pain when their bucket is empty.  Feedback deprivation is one of the most psychologically painful experiences a person can have.  In fact, mentally healthy people will go to extraordinary measures to ensure that their bucket doesn’t run dry.

Consider that people don’t consciously know when their bucket is empty.  It’s something we can’t recognize because most of us don’t understand it.  It is a feeling or an emotion; and being able to pinpoint emotions is difficult for most people.

Even if a person knew that his or her “bucket gauge” was on empty, it’s highly unlikely that the person would ask for feedback from others–especially men, because it would show weakness.  If women are the better communicators, like some people say, and if they are more intuitive, again like some experts say, then maybe women would be better suited to know when their bucket was empty, and maybe they might be more able to ask for help.

So how can you know if one of your employee’s feedback bucket is running low?  Typically, a problem with inadequate feedback will show up in one or more of six ways.

1. A person’s work performance (quantity and quality of work) is quite often directly related to the amount of feedback in his or her bucket.  It doesn’t mean that a person will stop working when their bucket’s empty, but sustained performance over time requires at least some feedback in the bucket.  So if you see an employee’s performance beginning to erode try stepping up your feedback to that person.

2. The ability to get along peaceably with co¬workers and even work effectively as a team is also directly related to how much feedback those people recently received.  Workers are less likely to demonstrate patience, cooperation, understanding or tolerance when their feedback buckets are empty, or even near empty.  So when you want a group of employees to become a team of employees, be sure that your feedback to them is frequent and positive.

3. Employees with empty buckets are prone to be followers, rather than take the initiative to be leaders.  Followers wait for things to happen, while leaders take the initiative and make things happen.  That’s because followers don’t feel as though it’s their job.  Decision–making is an integral part of demonstrating initiative.  Why make the effort to take a risk and make a decision if it’s not your job in the first place?  So if you see employees lacking in initiative, step up your feedback.

4. People suffering from feedback deprivation commonly engage in destructive communication and people whose buckets are fairly full frequently engage in constructive communication.  The simple cause of complaining, griping and back-biting, especially in the break room, may be nothing more than a number of employees who have been ignored too long and their buckets are running on empty.  So when you become aware of destructive communication, step up your feedback.

5. Each day most of us make a decision to either get up and go to work, or roll over and go back to sleep.  Part of that decision is centered on how much feedback we have received recently.  A fair portion of time and attendance issues, such as being late or absent, could he prevented if managers invested more time in giving appropriate feedback to employees.

6. A few years ago a group of Outback restaurants implemented a program to reduce turnover among part¬-time employees.  Each member of management was required to do three things each day to every part-time employee.  They were to look the employee in the eye, use his or her first name, and ask a question about how their day was going.  So to a part-time employee who was a student and worked the evening shift the comment might be, “Ann, how was your day at school?”  Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But within six months Outback had slashed part-time employee turnover in those restaurants by a whopping 50 percent! How important is feedback? Ask those employees.

So what can you do as a manager to make deposits in employees’ buckets and to even plug up a few holes? There are four easy, but important strategies you might consider.

1. The quantity of feedback you give someone is important, but the quality is even more important.  An idle comment may be welcome, but a question about how your midterm exam went yesterday could be a huge deposit.  How much do you really know about your employees?  Do you know how they spend their spare time?  Do you know their hobbies? Are you concerned about them as an important part of your team?  Take a few minutes and find out.  And then fill a bucket!

2. Employees who receive appropriate and timely praise and recognition for their contributions to the company feel better about themselves.  Feelings of being valuable and a contributor to the company can plug a few holes.  Many books have been written about how to recognize employees, but the regrettable truth is that few managers consistently use the principle of praise and recognition appropriately.  Look for both individual and group achievement and then make a fuss, and do it where a number of people can hear.

3. The third tactic to plug holes and make feedback deposits is to celebrate achievements.  Too often managers believe that results are to be expected.  It’s why we give you a paycheck, so we don’t need to celebrate individual successes.  However, if you don’t pay attention to individual and group achievements, you’ll never know who crosses the finish line.  Work at knowing who is achieving and then celebrate those achievements with your employees.

4. The extent to which any employee embraces changes to operating procedures or organizational structure is directly related to how much feedback that employee has been given regarding why the changes are necessary.  Remember, feedback is a two way street.  It doesn’t just flow from the manager to the employee.  It needs to flow from the employee to the manager too.  When employees are asked for their feedback regarding potential changes, they are much more likely to embrace the change after it is implemented.  Ensure that feedback flows in both directions.

In this article we’ve looked at the feedback bucket.  I like the metaphor because its uniqueness is so memorable to my students.  Take a serious look at your employees this month and determine which buckets are running too low.  Then, make some major deposits in those buckets.  Use the techniques in this article.  You’ll like the results.

In previous articles we have looked at the importance of interpersonal feedback in both our personal and professional lives.  Feedback is so fundamental to our interpersonal relationships that most people believe they have an innate ability to deliver it.  But, in fact, most people are actually ineffective in delivering feedback.  Perhaps the reason is that too many of us tend to gloss over what we believe are the simple things andpay more attention to what we believe to be complex or difficult.  Whatever the reason, feedback is the foundational element of all successful interpersonal relationships.  With effective feedback relationships can work, and without it relationships are doomed to failure.  The regrettable truth is that far too many people, both at home and at work, demonstrate poor feedback skills.  That’s why we have spent eight months learning to be more effective in delivering feedback!

Feedback is the fourth most important ingredient of life for a mentally healthy human. It follows only air, water and food on the list of basic human needs.  Appropriate feedback brings people a level of comfort that is difficult to achieve from any other source.  Inappropriate feedback creates a level of discomfort and friction that commonly produces undesired behaviors. The ability to deliver feedback, therefore, really ought to be taught as a basic interpersonal skill. Regrettably, most people are left to figure out how to deliver feedback on their own.

One of the best ways to learn feedback skills is to associate with people who do it well. Although I’ve worked for many people, two former bosses in the retail industry come to mind. Richard, for example, was a boss who had exceptional feedback skills, while Joe had unbelievably poor skills.  While working for Richard I found myself looking for ways to be more effective in my job responsibilities, as well as looking for ways to help him in his responsibilities.

Joe, on the other hand, made me frustrated, uninvolved, worry-prone, and sometimes less than productive.  I recall for example, a time when I was summoned to Joe’s office for an unscheduled meeting.  As I hurried up the back stairway to his office, I convinced myself that something was wrong. I was certain that I was in a hurry to attend a chew-out session.  My imagination ran wild in the few minutes it took me to reach his office with numerous possibilities, all negative.  But then, when the meeting began I found out that the reason I had been summoned was to merely give me some information that I needed for a project I was working on.  There wasn’t a problem; I wasn’t getting fired; nothing was wrong; I wasn’t even in trouble. And all of my worry had been for nothing.

The reason my mind ran wild with negative possibilities that day was due to the poor relationship I had with Joe.  His failure to give me the feedback that I so desperately needed to nourish OUT relationship caused me to not only distrust him and the situation, but to also expect the worst to happen.  Even though I had studied the principles of feedback and was well aware of its effects on people, both positive and negative, I was nonetheless unable to separate myself from assuming the worst.  That’s because I need supportive feedback, just like you and everyone else.

Contrast that experience to the time I worked for Richard. He went out of his way to listen to my ideas, counsel my aspirations, and coach my behavior. When I was successful lie noticed and gave me supportive feedback. When I was less than successful he corrected me with appropriate feedback that did not damage my self-worth.  When I spoke he listened with his full attention. When he asked for my opinion I knew full well that my good ideas would be implemented without question or reservation.  Richard knew me, my wife’s name, details about my children’s lives, my goals, my strengths, my weaknesses, my worries, and my fears.  In short, he knew me because he cared about me.  And because he knew me, he gave me feedback,

So how was my performance for Richard, as compared to Joe?  I would like to think that I perform well, regardless of how I’m coached, but that’s not true. I contributed to both Richard and Joe, but I clearly pushed harder, longer and better for Richard, because he gave me the feedback I desired.  Of that I have no doubt!

In a previous article we learned a metaphor called the Feedback Bucket. The feedback we receive, both positive and negative, goes into our Feedback Bucket.  The problem is that life’s experiences drill holes in our buckets, so the feedback we receive leaks out over time.  That’s why we need a constant amount of feedback each day to keep our bucket from running dry.

People with empty buckets behave differently than people whose buckets have recently received feedback.  Empty buckets at work can lead to lower productivity, dishonesty, increased turnover, poor attendance, lower accuracy, poor customer service, and a less than caring attitude toward job responsibilities.  Empty buckets at home can lead to spouses seeking fulfillment elsewhere, and children seeking reinforcement from kids on the streets.

The power of supportive feedback is incredible!  A phrase every person should memorize is: “A behavior rewarded (with supportive feedback) tends to be repeated.”  At work and at home, when you see a behavior you like or one that leads to desired results, it is vital that you reinforce the behavior with a carefully worded feedback statement.

Over the last few weeks, we looked at the methods of using corrective feedback to change behavior.  It’s important to develop effective techniques, because perceived criticism in interpersonal relationships has such negative consequences.  We learned that on occasion behavior change can be accomplished with supportive feedback, especially if the person’s Feedback Bucket is low.  A second technique is to use a series of focused questions that direct the person to suggest a change in their own behavior.  And the third technique is to use an assertive statement that specifically describes the needed behavior changes.

Timing
Although I would promote the use of coaching all of the time, when a team member or employee is facing obstacles, disappointment, or lack of motivation, coaching is especially important. For this Olympic athlete, coaching is strongly needed and it is not the time to point out faults and criticize, as you see in the clip. In such opportunities, the coach should highlight successes, encourage, motivate, and show support. While feedback is necessary when coaching for high performance, feedback must be presented in an effective way.

Feedback
In the video clip from the Olympic Games, you will hear Mr. Surh point out observations. Feedback can be a tricky feat in itself, much less when given under pressures that exist for a coach and team member who are competing in the Olympic Games. Without much thought or care, feedback can result in misunderstandings, discord, and insecurity. Without strong, clear feedback, people are unable to know fully what is expected of them, what they are doing well, or what they can do to improve. Strong, clear feedback, will help others develop, encourage responsibility, loyalty, and trust.

Celebrate
There are definite moments when coaching is needed, appropriate opportunities for feedback, and then there are times to celebrate successes. Without doubt, this was one of the times for celebration and Rick Suhr really missed the boat on doing so with Jenn Stucznski. Sure, both the athlete and her coach may have felt disappointed they didn’t reach their ultimate goal of a Gold Medal. However, coaches must take the time to celebrate their hard work, determination, the journey, and any successes. Jenn Stuczynski definitely had reason to celebrate. Despite this being her fourth year of pole vaulting and her first time competing in the Olympic Games, she won a silver medal. Without celebrations, both coaches and team members begin to lose motivation and purpose, negatively affecting their performance.

I sometimes wonder what might have happened if Mr. Suhr used more effective coaching skills that day by holding his feedback for a more appropriate time and celebrating the success he and Stuczynski were experiencing. Would Jenn Stuczynski have felt even more motivated to reach her goal? Would she have come away from coaching sessions with valuable feedback and ready to improve and progress? What might have resulted if Rick Suhr had encouraged her and celebrated more after each Olympic trial. Maybe she would have won the Gold Medal, and maybe not.

While Rick Suhr’s coaching record shows he is doing something right with his athletes, I imagine that if he had better interpersonal coaching skills he would see even greater success and improved performance with the athletes. It is also likely that there wouldn’t be a video clip of him at the Olympic Games circling the internet!